a first meditation to be spoken out loud one to another

I’d like you to close your eyes or at least lower your eyelids focusing on the middle distance of the floor in front you

I want you to get comfortable in your seat or if you’re standing stand with your legs slightly wider than shoulder width apart

your feet firmly planted on the ground

and as you stand or sit you can begin to feel a string that starts at your seat or the soles of your feet and runs from your tailbone up your spine and out of your head up to the ceiling above

and as we begin I want you to remember that all you are doing is preparing yourself for the journey ahead

and that you’re safe here and no one can hurt you

all your doing is preparing for the journey ahead and that you’re safe in the company of my voice

I want you to remember that violence is just information

or ‘decorative’

like a video of lions and hyenas fighting over the carcass of a wildebeest or antelope or some kind of dead animal captured with night vision cameras playing silently in the background and projected on the wall

or if that proves too distracting and takes away from your focusing on something other than the video

then you can visualize a still image projected on a sheet that hangs in front of the wall flickering quietly from the slight breeze caused by the air conditioning of the room

say a screencapped Google image of the sun reflecting off of standing water taken from the front steps of what was once the Branch Davidian compound a few miles outside of Waco

and I want you to hold this image of the sun in your mind

and as you do I want you to notice that it doesn’t glitch as much as move unsteadily in unison with the curtain and in doing so becomes like not unlike nature in that both are only immersive backdrops or ‘non-mediums’

like the human voice

or ‘my voice’

speaking out loud to you now under the pressure of reenacting it by describing it or rather staging it like a series of side altars of a ‘new age’ cult painted in earth tones seen for the last time before ascension

this bound method of procedure

my speaking to you now

produces an image like the reflection of the sun

or more accurately

a space for your thoughts to inhabit as something to focus on

but only in the beginning

as my voice will prove more and more unnecessary as it begins to disintegrate into discrete regions of your mind which you can visit for a time or not and leave as you will

and as I’m speaking to you

you’ll begin to feel grounded like you’re resting comfortably on an empty platform

one that had been specifically prepared for you

but prepared poorly

or rather the platform itself is only barely visible like the first plateau in an unexplored region of a video game that as you reach the clearing it begins to rain slightly and a fine mist covers the air

now as the water becomes general and covers this wretched little thing we call our body

your vessel or vehicle

the pain it experiences or even its pleasures

your twitching and convulsions

the spasms that involuntarily begin in the head

clouding your thoughts and bringing them too much into focus as the pain radiates out to your limbs

only now

as you sit on this bare expanse and the water begins to cover you

is that pain and frustration

that sadness you first felt alone on this plateau that stretches out to the horizon

only now are feelings starting to be washed away

and as they leave you

and your mind is becoming empty and relaxed

you can start to feel each individual drop of water as it slowly trickles down your skin

joining the other drops as they fall together to the plateau beneath you and form small rivulets that head to the left of you

or the right

or pool around you creating a greater intensity of wetness against your buttocks and thighs

in each drop

as it joins its mate and forms this community

this pool of cool and pleasant water that washes away the pain and fear that you live with each day

you can begin to sense the presence of those who have gone on before you as if in moving on and shedding their vessels they left behind this message written in water that caresses your skin and soaks your clothing such that you can no longer tell the difference between the rough cloth and the flesh it covers

you can sense in this water the poisons they purged from themselves in moving on

you can feel the anxieties they are no longer burden with in giving up their bodies for a wholeness that is not unlike the wholeness you at times feel when your own body disappears in a moment of great joy or despair

and you are growing more and more aware of them as you listen to my voice and the wind begins to pick up and the rain falls harder as water lashes against this wretched little thing we call our body

until you can feel the skin of your right forearm resting against your thigh

begin to open and form a small canyon that faces the sky and the falling rain

but instead of feeling pain there you have a sense of deep calm as your blood and tendons

the muscles in your right arm open up to the bone and greet the water as it falls against your body and collects in the space it made for itself

and as it does

as your blood flows from the open cut

spreading across this wretched little thing we call our body

you can see it turn to a faint purple color

that grows paler and paler

until any distinction between the blood that came from your vessel and the water that fell from the sky as rain disappears

and as your blood ranges across the growing pool of water you sense it mingling with the presence of those who have gone on before you

alone on this plateau you can sense their presence and are assured with the fullness of their company as the water rises up your thighs covering you to your belly button

and as the water continues to rise it covers this plateau like an infinity pool stretching out to the light grey sky turning blue

without a decrease in the rain

that no longer falls but seems to swell of its own accord

moving and caressing your body as this pool of water reaches your chest and neck as though the clothes you once wore have been stripped away as they are no longer necessary

and as the water covers this wretched little thing we call our bodies

instead of feeling buoyant you feel grounded

instead of rising to the surface you stay firmly seated on the plateau

that you can no longer see

but use as an anchor in your mind or something that hovers just below the surface of your thoughts rooting you to this world and the vehicle of your body

now the water is over your head and reaching up to the same colored sky

both a light blue and turning slightly as if in a clean glass bowl on an empty wooden table that mirrors the movement of the larger room around it

feeling your body now as it sits beneath the surface of this cool clear liquid

you open your mouth to speak or breathe

to call out to the presence of those who have gone on before you

you try to take a breath you can’t

you try to take a breath you can’t

you try to take a breath you can’t

don’t be afraid

remember that this is the time you have prepared for and that you are ready

remember your plans

you try to take a breath you can’t

until your trying stops and you step out of this earthly vessel like stepping through a door into another room

only then can you rise up to the surface

only to find that your body has gone and your soul has become infinitely small

floating like a microbead of plastic riding the undulating surface of the water under a cloudless and crystal clear blue sky

now as you start to return to the room

I want you to hold in your mind this image of microbeads floating together as a buoyant plastic fog spread across the water

‘proof’ of something you knew all along

what you sensed all along

that you are perfect

and this journey you have prepared

to step away from this plateau into the surrounding waters

requires no faith or leader

no father or mother

no system beyond the lives we are already living

this material action and our bright faces and warm smiles as we greet each other in the morning or say goodnight before bed

such that the very fact of our existence extends out towards our own extinction

like a pod of dolphins arching their backs and moving their flukes vertically up and down to generate momentum in the neon blue water and propel themselves forward and out of the waves and back again framed with purple flames as the chants of those who came before now singing with one voice can be heard in the background

Joey Yearous-Algozin is the author of ~25 texts/books. He is a member of the publishing collective, TROLL THREAD. He lives in Brooklyn, NY.